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An Unattractive Vampire #2020

An Unattractive Vampire Jim McDoniel s first novel is quirky wild and weird and definitely for those who hate those sexy vampire stereotypes who like their monsters nice and gross Geeks of Doom Jim McDoniel s debut novel

  • Title: An Unattractive Vampire
  • Author: Jim McDoniel
  • ISBN: 9781941758649
  • Page: 319
  • Format: Paperback
  • An Unattractive Vampire By Jim McDoniel, Jim McDoniel s first novel is quirky, wild, and weird, and definitely for those who hate those sexy vampire stereotypes who like their monsters nice and gross Geeks of Doom Jim McDoniel s debut novel, An Unattractive Vampire, is a darkly comic urban fantasy of ancient horrors in suburban cities After three centuries trapped underground, thousand year old Yulric Bile Jim McDoniel s first novel is quirky, wild, and weird, and definitely for those who hate those sexy vampire stereotypes who like their monsters nice and gross Geeks of Doom Jim McDoniel s debut novel, An Unattractive Vampire, is a darkly comic urban fantasy of ancient horrors in suburban cities After three centuries trapped underground, thousand year old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil s Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire Apparently he s just too ugly Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good Determined to reestablish his bloodstained reign, Yulric sets out to correct this disgusting turn of events or, at the very least, murder the person responsible With the help of part vampire wannabe Amanda Simon, the eight year old reincarnation of his greatest foe and a cadre of ancient and ugly horrors, Yulric prepares to battle the glamorous undead But who will win the right to determine, once and for all, what it truly means to be a vampire

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      Posted by:Jim McDoniel
      Published :2019-09-25T19:14:02+00:00

    1 thought on “An Unattractive Vampire

    1. I get sent pre release copies of books quite often Usually because authors or publishers are looking for promotional blurbs or a little help spreading the word about an upcoming publication This was one of those books I got an ARC ages ago, but I only recently pulled it off the shelf.Starting to read it, I was pleasantly surprised Good start Pulled me right in Good language Good, distinct tone Playful but well written.Then I looked at the letter that had been sent along with the book and kicked [...]

    2. An Unattractive vampire You may cry Inconceivable to that idea, my dear post twilight audience How can be a vampire be unattractive in this century With their perfect cheekbones and irresistible sex appeal, their swaying hips, half open shirts, and such hot fangs Unfortunately, Yulric Bile is not from this century Neither does he the like the modern week ass candy cane vampires Let the games begin An unattractive vampire is a fun novel which takes advantage of the popularity of vampires and diff [...]

    3. I will admit to being a fan of Twilight well the first three, the fourth was a monstrosity I am guilty of swooning over GQ worthy vampires full of never ending wit and sarcasm, and for some reason always with a British accent I love the sympathetic villain and can even side with an occasional mopey teen vampire I am addicted to all things vampire and as such love even their parodies An unattractive vampire, who s title itself makes me laugh, was a fun and hilarious diatribe of the modern vampire [...]

    4. This was a light and fun read It was not quite as good as I was hoping it would be, but it was still entertaining and filled with plenty of hilarious moments.300 years ago evil vampire Yulric Bile was imprisoned Now he has escaped and is eager to begin a new reign of fear and terror Yulric is soon horrified to learn that society has changed and that modern vampires are now objects of romantic worship and heroic deeds He vows to put an end to this atrocity and bring the terror back to the vampire [...]

    5. Fun and flowing story, if a bit fragmented minor plot holes 3.5 stars rounded up because it s a debut novel and it was an entertaining read paved smooth with nice writing and interesting characters The last three warnings were obviously the most recent in Arabic, May Allah protect against that which is inside and damn any who open it in English, For the preservation of the Empire, sealed 1910 under orders of his Majesty by his humble servant Sir Henry Calibrey May God preserve us and in American [...]

    6. This book is HILARIOUSGo buy Go Why are you still reading this review Go read the book There have been a few books that have poked fun at how the concept of vampirism has changed over the years especially how the most common portrayals tend to have vampires who are attractive and sexy above all else.Enter Yulric Bile, an old school vampire who has woken up after an unfortunate period of downtime damn those puritans In fact can we have an aside where I just hail the awesomeness that was the depic [...]

    7. That was funny Strong tongue in cheek type humor, making riotous fun of the paranormal romance craze I like paranormal fiction, and I couldn t help laughing with recognition at every hilarious caricaturized trope Still only 2.51 for Kindle, and if you re in need of a laugh, I d definitely recommend This one has dropped from 6.99 to 2.51 for Kindle, and the premise and reviews are promising I got mine here.

    8. In reality, it s probably a 3 star book But, I think I ll bump it up to 4 stars for a few reasons It s the antidote to Twilight It s time the glittery glamour boy vamps went away Bring on the old school vampires The pairing of an evil, 300 year old vampire with a precocious, cheeky, slightly evil eight year old boy was devilishly delightful I like the vampire s excuse of not needing to wear a seatbelt I have no need for a life saving restraint You know, since he s immortal anyway As well as some [...]

    9. I m still trying to figure out this book While the writing itself was funny, quirky, witty, and fast paced with those wonderful asides of the Pratchett type, footnote variety of which I m particularly fond, the story was rather baffling As in, what was the whole point of it again Yulric Bile is a thousand year old vampire recently unearthed from his resting place by Amanda, a vampire obsessed blonde, and her precocious eight year old brother, Simon who also happens to be the reincarnation of Bil [...]

    10. This one was smart, so much fun to read, and really funny also meta maybe This is not your typical glittery vampire story Yulric Bile is a 1000 years old vampire that wakes up in the 21st century Acquiring his knowledge of the new world from TV, and the two siblings Amanda and Simon, he s looking for answers as to how the vampire reputation became so weak He s in for trouble.

    11. For those who are wondering, I wouldn t call this a satire on Twilight, or a parody, or has anything to do with the concept of twinkly vampires This book and story is independent from all of that.Yulric Bile wakes in the 21st century to find everything has changed Even the modern day vampire has changed actual, real life vampires, not just the concepts of them and Yulric ends up striking an odd friendship with Amanda, whose basement he was buried in.I really enjoyed this book It s weird, it s si [...]

    12. I received an advanced electronic reading copy in exchange for an honest review.3.5 5 StarsIf I m being honest, I have an adoration much greater than I expected for this book I was very excited when reading the book description poking fun at today s vampire stereotypes young, attractive, good natured, and sparkly An Unattractive Vampire is a humorous take on the battle between classic and modern vampires.Yulric Bile is woken from his three century long slumber to find a much modern civilization [...]

    13. I received an ARC from netgalley for an honest review.This book is amazing It s everything you want in a vampire novel Not sparkly pretty good vampires but your classic vampires.To summarize this book you have an ugly vampire I would call a Nosferatu vampire A woman who believed him to be a werewolf at first and her little brother is is a 9 year old intelligent psychopath throw in in some comedy and whiny pretty vampires and you have the most perfect comedy vampire novel.The cast of characters i [...]

    14. Closer to 5 stars just for pure enjoyment.An ancient vampire arises from reset to find himself in modern times where nobody believes he is a vampire The ancient one is of the Nosferatu type and is dismayed by TV vampires that are beautiful and likable.This book is a humorous response to Twilight vampires but is much than just a mocking response.What I liked the most is that while there is humorous intent it is not primarily a comic romp It takes the premise seriously and reads like a horror no [...]

    15. Review copy provided by the publisher through NetGalley I m a big fan of vampire stories in general, partly because vampires are so versatile I like the old school, scary, Dracula types and the sexy, modern tortured hero types and a lot of the stuff in between I don t love all individual examples of these, of course, but I like a very broad range of vampires The idea of one of the former waking up in modern day and discovering things have moved toward the latter is pretty funny Unfortunately, th [...]

    16. The rest of this long winded review is at Night Mode Reading Yulric Bile is an ancient saxon vampire, a master of survival and deception, a true evil mastermind of the kind that was neither pretty, nor good The type that does not get sired or created , but rather is too evil to stay dead He lived this long thanks to his cunning, and, of course, immortality, so when an angry mob with pitchforks and torches marches towards his home Yulric doesn t break a sweat After all, everything is going accord [...]

    17. Upon reading this book, I didn t dislike it, nor did I love it It dwells in a realm of fun to read, but ultimately will be forgotten within a month The reason for this lies within many reasons, many of which I feel I cannot properly articulate The humor had its moments, moments in which the jokes matched with my own sense of humor But times than not, the humor was a hit and a miss In addition, the thing that bothered me the most and is pretty nitpick y was the repeated mention of how Simon wasn [...]

    18. 3 out of 5 starsI thought this book had a great premise, it was very satirically funny The problem that I had was it jumped around too much and time would pass from one paragraph to another It did not have a good flow and felt very jumpy.The characters were pretty good but not great could have done with development Loved the whole vampires don t sparkle, they re not that attractive and they definitely aren t good vibe, but then again I liked vampires before Twilight I appreciate the direction t [...]

    19. Review also available on my blog The Shameful Narcissist Speaks.An Unattractive Vampire begins as a cleverly tongue in cheek novel with a similar silliness and satire to The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy, seamlessly steering your sympathies towards an unholy monster and its last remaining followers A subversion of a subversion, the story takes the new ish idea of the beautiful, modern vampires and makes it absurd with the introduction of the Nosferatu like Yulric Bile, who s been entombed be [...]

    20. This was a really fun read A 1,000 year old vampire wakes up from a 300 year long sleep and discovers that the beautiful, young vampires of the modern day are drastically different from the fearful creatures of the night they used to be Its a fun, funny read that I would recommend to any reader.What you ll see on most review sites is people lavishly praising this book, but giving it 3 4 star ratings In fact, I will say that I would have given this book 3 stars if I didn t love the main character [...]

    21. Your usual vampire book Is what I might put in my review if I read a different vampire book Many Vampire books focus on a dark or mysterious theme They dive into those themes so hard that it usually feels bland in its similarities.This is not one of those books I often wondered if the intent of the scene I was reading was to be comedic or serious By often, I mean to say almost every scene was like this.I d like to think that this was the intent behind this style of writing One reader, might only [...]

    22. SAVAGELY funny and wicked fun If you re tired of vampires that sparkle, who are good at heart, and who are ridiculously good looking, this book is for you It mercilessly lampoons the modern vampire trend in books and television And though I admit it, I was at one point similar to Amanda in ways than I would like to count with her rabid fan shipping, knee height goth hooker boots and a closet full of corsets only suitable for halloween and the ren fair, not to mention her lofty vampire goals, LO [...]

    23. Absolutely hilarious from start to finish for those of us with a darker, offbeat sense of humor Finally, we fight back against the glittering vampires of today with the hideous hysterical monsters of old For fans of Christopher Moore AND Bram Stoker.

    24. the anti Twilight you didn t know you needed until now this hilarious novel takes every modern vampire trope and turns it on its head.

    25. Very funny It took me kind of a long time to read it because the plot wasn t really holding my attention, but overall a very fun read Amazing cover, too.

    26. Randomly got this on Audible and really enjoyed it Full of fun, quirky humor Recommended for anyone who enjoys the supernatural fantasy genre.

    27. Amateurish Jokes that think they re quite funny they ain t Just calling something evil doesn t make it so Plot so thin it might as well be a novella Boring Even an interesting scene with the vampire protagonist in a hospital goes nowhere Really, the book fails on so many accounts that I cannot be compelled to write a coherent review with complete sentences.I want to support authors, particularly new ones, but sometimes further drafts or critiques before publication would be beneficial I m happy [...]

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